I feel weak

I have been taking all my decisions since I was 9. There have been many decisions I have taken in the past, big or small, which were not liked by many people. Some people even suspected those to be wrong decisions, but time and again I have made things work and proved the sceptics wrong. That made me feel so strong. I started believing that I can do no wrong.

Some of the decisions taken in the past, I thought were the biggest decisions of my life, but I was wrong. I have many more big decisions to take and the one I have to take right now seems to be the biggest so far. This time, for the first time, I am not able to decide. Which is making me feel weak. Weakest ever. Never before in my memory, I have felt so weak.

There have never ever been so many variables to consider while taking a decision and never before there have been variables which are controlled by someone else, but they affect me so directly. I am loosing control and that is what is making me feel weak. The worst part is, even when I decide, the decision needs someone else's approval, which is something I have never experienced before.

The problem is, I don't want to feel weak. Nobody does. I have two options, take a decision and wait for the consequences, but consequences in this case can be so strong that they might haunt me all my life, if my decision proved to be a wrong one, or don't take a decision and let things go as it is and forget that this kind of situation ever arose in my life, which certainly is not going to be an easy task either.