Got Kicked

The trailer of the movie came with statutory warning "mere baare mein jyada mat sochna. dil mein aata hun, samajh mein nahi." Like cigarette manufacturers rely on the addiction of its consumers, who buy and smoke it despite the warning on the box; bhai is also relying on the crazy (probably addicted) fan base, who fills the theatres despite the clear warning that this movie is not going to make any sense at all.

I am such a badass.

The movie starts with supposedly sulking Shaina Mehra, who is living in Poland with her family and is still not over with her past broken relationship. Her family forces her to meet super cop Himanshu Tyagi, who is on a mission. Shaina tells Himanshu the story of Devi Lal Singh who is an adrenaline junkie and will go to any extent for kick. However since 'wo dil ka accha hai', she falls for him.When she and her family insists for him to settle on a steady job, he breaks up with her. Himanshu is searching for Devil, who is a super thief. By the way, masked superhero on a cycle chase reminded me of Shiva ka Insaaf. This sums up the entire first half, which is so boring that I literally cheered when I saw intermission written on the screen. It was such a relief. 

Yaay....Shiva ka Insaaf.

Then enters Nawajuddin Siddiqui playing a villain straight from 'sara shehar mujhe lion ke naam se jaanta hai' school of acting. Not so surprisingly those are the only entertaining bits in an otherwise boring movie. He plays an over the top villain making bottle popping noise from his mouth and a weird laughter. 

Imagine the sound of a soda bottle getting opened

The credits show four writers that includes best-selling author of today's generation Chetan Bhagat and the producer-director Sajid Nadiadwala and all of them put together such a senseless screenplay that you are bound to questions their skills as  writers. The movie has multiple continuity errors like when Himanshu lands in Warsaw, Shaina's sister suggests her to take the tube (London's underground train network), Devil jumps from a building in Warsaw and lands inside a red double-decker bus bound to King's Cross stop (again in London), Devil crashes the bus off the bridge in Poland and in next scene he is in Delhi dancing to the tunes of Saat Samundar Paar in a deshi bar. I may have to write another post probably just to point out all such errors in the movie. The story is devoid of any logic like what the hell is that half bike-half car Devi Lal drives, why on earth Shaina is a psychiatrist, what kind of working parents commit suicide because they can not provide for the treatment of their ailing daughter, as if making a sick little kid orphan also is going to help in any way, super cop Himanshu tells his superiors about a patten in Devil's victims that all of them were rich and were in news in recent days and the next person to be robbed is a peon. So much for the pattern. Devil's master plan for the Warsaw robbery has as many holes as Chubul Pandey promised on Chhedi Singhs body. Yes, the makers of this movie are so insecure about themselves that they keep on making references to Chulbul Pandey and Dabangg. 

Presenting the bike rickshaw... or you can call it the next gen cycle rickshaw

The movie has dialogues like 'meri cat mujhi se meow'; 'social psychology ke hisab se ek insaan ki pehchan uske kaam se hoti hai' and when Devi invites Shaina to a club she asks herself 'yahan main use kya therapy dungi'. Another super irritating thing is that every character, no matter how small, in the movie says the word 'kick' at least a dozen times and every time any character said kick, I felt like getting kicked (or slapped). 

Therapy session. (wow Jacqueline)

 I just wonder for how long Bhai is going to take his fans/audience for granted. The only satisfying thing about the experience was that the movie was not houseful (60% occupancy) on the first day night show and I hope the movie makes way less than the expectation so that Salman understands that it is about time ki wo logon ko samajh mein bhi aane lagein warna dil ke darwaje bhi band ho jayenge.