When you hear of 'The Italian Job' the very first thing that comes to your mind is a daylight robbery in the middle of traffic. Then you hear that it is being remade in India, the first thing in your mind would be what better place to set this up in other than Mumbai. Disappointingly the Indian filmmakers who made this remake set it up in Russia and New Zealand and even more disappointingly traffic has very little to do with it. I would have rather admired an Italian Job style robbery in Mumbai using Tata Nanos. Tata probably would have sponsored this few hours long ad-film. In that case the dialog "sau crore ki abaadi waale desh mein..." also would have made sense. But then, you do not expect sense from director duo Abbas-Mastan, whom I have fondly started calling Ab bas Mastan after watching their version of The Italian Job hoping they will get the message and stop making such senseless movies.
Lets go for gold guys.
Players starts exactly in the same fashion as the old Italian Job with Aftab Shivadasani getting killed by Russian (it was Italian in the original) mafia. His wife goes to Abhishek Bacchan, whose character has been creatively named Charlie (just as in the original), to give him a book, which is supposedly have coded message about a dvd hidden in the book with a plan to carry out the robbery of the century. We will later learn that the code was so stupid that anyone could crack it and get to know about the dvd and the plan. Anyway, moving on with the story, we are now introduced to Sonam Kapoor, who hacks into Abhishek's computer from her iPad while driving. How? Because she has studied computer science and apple is magic. Next we are introduced to Vinod Khanna, who is running the con-world through his jail cell just like Mr Bridger in original, without whose help we are told the great robbery cannot be executed. Vinod Khanna decides to help Abhishek Bacchan in his plan for a greater cause i.e. to build the world's best orphanage. Yes. That is his reason. You can imagine what he would have dreamt of about this great orphange since his share of the great robbery would be 4000 Crore. Vinod Khanna helps Abhishek set up a team of world's bests, which includes Sikandar Kher, world's best expert in explosives, who is deaf from his one ear; Omi Vaidya, world's best make up artist, who is still stuck with his 3 idiots character; Bipasha Basu, world's best seductress and Bobby Deol playing his real self as world's best illusionist, who is so bad that at the two occassions he tried to create illusion on one instant he ended up paralyzing his daughter for life and on second he ends up alerting one of the soldiers about the ongoing gold robbery. However at this point I was curious to know what kind of robbery Vinod Khanna had planned, that includes an illusionist as part of the plan. But there is only one problem they also need worlds best hacker Spider. Who is hiding and cannot be contacted. Computer engineer Sonam Kapoor comes to the rescue and locates Spider at his exact hiding place in Goa probably by logging into hacker.com and searching for Spider and getting his exact location on google maps. Or may be because she is a computer engineer and apple is magic.
The Illusionist
With the team of world's best players set for the great gold robbery they leave for Russia and plan for the robbery in the most casual fashion, because casual is cool. Robbery does happen and again 2nd time after Ra.One we are made to believe that clocks run slower on a moving train.
With the help of exit plan e-mailed by Vinod Khanna, they manage to escape and you check your watch thinking the movie is over but wonder why there was no interval. That is when Abbas-Mastan realise there is one more Italian Job movie and one from the group turns traiter to play the part played by Edward Norton and some characters are conveniently killed since there only 4 players needed for 2nd part of the movie. At this very moment you also realise that this is all set to be a very long movie.
Sonam Kapoor trying to be sexy.
Second half of the movie is 2003 Italian Job with some mnior modifications that includes fucking up the whole traffic robber sequence and making it even more lame. In second half Neil Nitin Mukesh (spider) is Edward Norton, Abhishek Bacchan is Mark Wahlberg, Sonam Kapoor is Charlize Theron+the real napster (because she is computer engineer and apple is magic), Sikandar Kher is Jason Statham, Omi Vaidya is idiot and Johnny Lever the car mechanic.
There is not much to look forward to Players. The entire cast seems to be competing with each other to win the worst actor trophy. The story is nothing but both the italian job movies back to back with some twists, which have made the story worse rather than improving it. Like any other recent movie of Abbas Mastan, dialog writer was told to use the key word Player in every three sentences and it gets irritating with every repetition. I would recommend you all to watch The Italian Job, either of them, rather than going for this irritating, laughable and senseless movie.
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